Have you been ghosted? If you are in no contact with your person, especially if suddenly and without reason, I want to share some perspective with you.
I also want to say that, while this blog is not specifically about manifesting a specific person into your life, I do believe it is possible. I also believe it is important for one to be in the right frame of mind while manifesting an SP. Not every coach or blogger is equipped with the tools to help one do this in a healthy way. Use your own discernment, respect the decisions and needs of others, and never do or think anything that does not resonate with you.
If you’ve studied the work of Neville for a while (or any LOA teacher who genuinely knows their stuff), then you know that we are all one in consciousness and there is not truly any separation or no contact. You can always go within your imagination and give yourself the interactions you desire in your mind. You have the power to create that scene of having coffee or a shared moment with your person – be it an estranged friend, family member, or romantic partner.
Another part of being one in consciousness is that people can pick up on your “vibes” or energy. Your thoughts about yourself will broadcast subtle signals out there that other people can pick up on. For example, I have talked previously about my success at work as a trainer. I had to first have the thoughts of being confident as a trainer before others picked up on them and offered me opportunities for training.
Since there is no separation in consciousness, and others can pick up on your energy (yes, even without being physically around you), it is impossible to be in no contact. We are in energetic contact all the time. How else would you explain it when someone you normally don’t hear from texts or calls you out of the blue? Or maybe you’ve had someone tell you, “You were heavy on my mind the other day.” You may also think of someone but not reach out. If I had a dime for every time I did that…
I know you want reassurance from your person, and it can happen. What often keeps it from happening in the 3D is our thoughts that it won’t, that they’ve forgotten about us, that they’ve moved on, etc. We tend to think those things from a place of having been hurt before. If you’ve been abused emotionally or made to feel that you do things wrong, you might think that you did something that caused the other person to leave. Especially when one has been abused, they might think of the other person’s silence as punishment for something. Then that can cause this desperate need for the contact, which can energetically repel a person in addition to the signals we are giving off.
When you go right to the worst conclusion, your brain will come up with all kinds of scenarios that echo to you, “I did something wrong.” You might look back on something you did or said and feel anxiety or even a little cringe because you’re looking at it through the lens of “that was wrong.” Whether it was a little remark you made that you didn’t feel sure about or if you were too open too soon about your feelings, there is no need to beat yourself up.
Of course, we are meant to work on ourselves and maintain self-awareness in how we treat others. In my own situation, I had to get to the root of why I overshared or got attached so quickly, even if a person was breadcrumbing me. I don’t mind telling you that I am working on that in therapy. But then we work on our thoughts and the signals we are giving off about the situation. We stop perpetuating the undesired stories. You can know what your story is by the reason that comes up when you fill in this sentence: "This person is not talking to me because..."
Rather than thinking, “Oh my god, that was so cringe. No wonder they ghosted,” you can think, “I had a human and vulnerable moment, and they realize this and forgive me.” A step above this is to understand that there are many reasons one may not respond to a text message or call and decide that you’ll speak again when it’s a good time for all involved. Stop dwelling on potential reasons why it isn’t happening right now. Go on and live your life. This becomes easier as you stop dwelling on your past perceived failings and improve your self concept. You might even find that, once you forgive and work on yourself, you don't need the reassurance so much from the other person anymore. Ironically, that can create the space for them to come back into your life without you lifting a finger.
I have had cringe moments that I worked on within myself and found that the other person didn’t even remember them later when I brought them up in the 3D. I do not use the revision technique. My brain fights me too hard. When you forgive and work on yourself, this helps you feel at peace, and then you aren’t constantly broadcasting thoughts of shame or not good enough. Positive affirmations on repeat, either when you wake up or as you go to sleep, can help as well.
I intend that this can help you or at least bring you peace. I understand firsthand how hard it is to stop assuming the worst case, that you are at fault, when you do not get the response you want from a person that is important to you. These are the times when you need to place yourself on the pedestal, so to speak, and remember your own importance. Remember that you deserve good things in your life and focus on your good qualities. You do not need another person or external circumstance to validate this. It is the truth. For additional help, check out my affirmation track on self concept for consistent communication.